Interviews With the Elrics
by Miranda Crystal-Bearer
Summary: Imagine meeting the Elrics on a busy street. Each invites you to the cafe on the corner for a little chat.
1. Coffee

**A/N:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor any of the characters. Oh well, on with the little ficlet. Part the first!

* * *

Oof! Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to knock you over!

Eh? Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about me.

My name? I'm Al. Alphonse Elric.

No, no, no! I'm not the Fullmetal Alchemist. That's my older brother, Edward. Don't worry, it's actually a pretty common mistake.

Famous Elrics...ah...well...here, there's a little cafe right on the corner here. We can talk there. Do you want any coffee? No? Well, it's too bad. The coffee here is excellent, or so I'm told.

Now, what do you want to know about the Elric brothers?

What's my brother like? Allright. Let's see...um...he's kinda on the short side, he's got blonde hair and chestnut eyes...yeah, some people say they're gold, but he's MY brother, and I know these things. What else...oh, Ed's got a really terrible temper, and he hates being called short. He also hates drinking milk, and utterly despises pumpkins.

Yeah, pumpkins. Why? I don't really know. Ed's just funny that way. He's really fond of anything sweet, too, and he'll eat himself sick if somebody doesn't watch him. Ed only thinks he's a bottomless pit. But it is true that he's got a simply enormous appetite.

Eh? Oh, you don't want to know what my brother's like, you want to know who he is. Well, you should have said so in the first place. Hmm...the best word I've found to describe my brother is...passionate. Edward...there isn't really any middle ground, with him. It's either all or nothing, to use a very clichéd phrase. But it's the truth. He's gotten really good at not showing it, but his emotions are really very strong. Happy is not the word...ecstatic might fit. And he's never really sad, just in such a black depression you'd think he'd never get out of it.

Most people's depression might be blue, but trust me, my brother's is solid black.

Biased? Well, maybe I am a little. But anyway, on with who my brother is. He's also really tender-hearted. He can't leave anyone in distress without at least giving them advice. Ed acts tough, but it's mostly just an act. It goes back again to his being passionate. He'd never admit it...he's proud that way. There's very little about him that could be called humble...and that drives people nuts. Mostly the Colonel.

The Colonel? Yes, you've probably heard of him...Colonel Mustang?

Oh, I see, you're a friend of his. Yes, my brother drives poor Colonel Mustang nuts. It's intentional, really, Ed does everything he can to be difficult. I feel really sorry for the Colonel some days, when my brother's in a particularly bad mood.

Hate him? No, no, Edward doesn't hate the Colonel at all! In fact, he respects Colonel Mustang a lot. I can't really say for sure...Ed's very elusive about this...but I think that the Colonel is almost a father-figure for Ed. My brother doesn't want anyone, least of all the Colonel, to know exactly how much he looks up to Mustang, because Ed's just stubborn that way. So my brother gives the poor Colonel headaches, but he does pay attention and he does act on what the Colonel has to say.

Yeah, I guess that might be a little surprising to someone who doesn't know Ed. But that is my brother.

Wow, you're right, it has gotten late. I need to go...Ed will be looking for me. It was nice talking to you, and very nice meeting someone who wants to know what my brother is really like. Goodbye!


	2. Bruised Apples

A/N: I still don't own anything of FMA's. Here we go, part the second!

* * *

Ow! Hey, you jerk, watch where you're going! What do you mean it's not your fault? ARE YOU CALLING ME SHORT! I OUGHTA--Ouch! Hey, what's your problem? I wasn't gonna steal your stupid fruit! You can keep your rotten apples, you old hag! OW! HEY, I--OUCH!

Huh, I guess I better thank you for getting that fruit vendor off my case. Batty old woman. She always says I steal her apples. Are you hungry? There's a nice little cafe over here.

What, you don't want any thanks? I was gonna buy you something to eat, but if you're sure...

Coffee? Yech, the coffee here isn't fit to drown a fish with, but if that's what you want, I won't stop you from poisoning yourself.

You look really familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?

You met my brother? Ah, so that's how you knew my name. I just thought my reputation had preceded me. It often does.

Has here too, huh? You're not the first person to ask why I'm going through all this stuff for an impossible quest. My answer is always the same though...because Alphonse is my brother, and I owe it to him.

What do you mean I say that oddly? It's the truth. He's my brother.

You and the idiot Colonel, both asking what I mean by that.

Alphonse is my brother. He's...well, it's hard to explain other than that. It's like...like he's a part of me, like an arm or a leg, but more than that. When he's with me, I never have to look for him. He's always just a step behind me. In fact, I have stepped on him once or twice, backing up. And when he's not there, I'm always looking over my shoulder, or saying something to him...because it's rare that he's never there. We're pretty much inseparable. And it's not just physical...often we say the same things, or finish each other's sentences. It's not so much that we think the same...we just know what the other is thinking. In fact, we really couldn't be more different...

Then how do we get along? Why, opposites attract, idiot. In fact, we'd probably fight a lot more if we were any more similiar. If we both had my lack of patience...oooh, the world would be doomed.

Yeah, I know I'm impatient. But Al has a temper to match mine, he's just got a better hold on it.

I'm serious.

Yeah, you just think he's all nice and sweet.

Well, it's true, he's very compassionate. He can't leave anyone alone if they're in trouble. He's a real sap for anything homeless, too. Maybe because we're sorta homeless. So I guess that's why people think he's sweet. Al can really be almost cruel, though, when it comes to decisions made with his common sense, Al's really very sensible. Granny Pinako always said Alphonse got a double dose of good common sense...and Winry always said I got less than the average goldfish.

Ah, Winry's just a dorky girl obsessed with anything mechanical.

But back to Al...he's mostly just Al, and he's mainly my brother...and here he comes, up the street. I gotta go. Thanks again.

Yeah, well, I hope that coffee doesn't kill you.


End file.
